Throughout my 38 years on this planet called earth I’ve realized that due to lack of communication, poor boundaries and strong feelings things can escalate and snowball. Oh my…How draining it is. Choose your circle wisely, my friends. Even when it’s a friend or friends it’s difficult to distinguish if they truly understand you. If they understand your overall vibe, the words you use and your intentions. Geeze. I had an experience where I was doing self-care before helping someone else. They always say to put your own oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. So, that’s what I’ve been doing the last few years. When I was honest with them hoping to clue them into my life and what’s going on. They immediately took offense. My longing to help as halted. I thought to myself I should have better boundaries. I wasn’t good with boundaries to begin with. I didn’t even know what it was and the intent behind them. In fact, I was a raging mess. Yes, said it. A raging mess. Unfortunately, I have lost a valuable friend, mentor, and resource due to my ignorance and rage. Yep. Something I’m not proud of.
This blog post is about escalation and snowballing effect so I should get back to it. I also had an experience where I was injured and due to policies and procedures, I immediately had to dive into the paperwork of being able to take time off to heal. Al the red tape and paperwork. Oh my. How it snowballed. One little injury and boom I was in Human Resources trying to jump through hoops to make sure that I had the time off necessary to heal.
What do you do and how do you repsond when things escalate and snowball?
Remember, it’s a beautiful world. Take a closer look. Open up your heart and trust.
As a child I wanted to take a broader view. I still do. I want to see the world as a whole. A collective if you will. I am reading various sacred texts to find a common thread. That thread for me is Divine.
Less is more in my book for right now. Yes, the common theme of my life is unity.
Remember, it’s a beautiful world. Take a closer look. Open up your heart and trust.
Once I started to realize that I don’t have to compete it set me free. I can just focus on my progress and not the progress of others. Sure, friendly competition can be fun; however, I desire to see the progress I’ve made over the years. If I review over the years let’s say, in nursing field I can see how far I have come. I started out as a shy and unsure CNA. Now, I’m much more confident. I’m surer of myself and my skillset. I still have a long way to go in the confidence department. It’s helpful to know that most people are walking around with imposter syndrome. Some not all. It’s good to be confident but maybe we can make imposter syndrome work for us. For one, it can keep us humble. Two, it can motivate you to become surer of yourself.
I hope the holiday season is treating you well. I’m keeping this short since the holidays are upon us and I’m sure you have plenty on your to do list. Feel free to comment or sign the guest book. I love to socialize.
While working yesterday I was thinking about social expectations. How we are guided to have an education, get married, have children, buy a house and car. A multitude of things. What if some of the paths someone has taken diverges from the social norms? What if those paths lead to happiness and fulfillment? For example, I loved school as a child. I liked learning and socializing. I was expected to go to college. That was the natural choice. I had considered a technical school but I wanted to aim high. So, I went to college. Due to health issues I didn’t stay. So, I went into a vocational school and found my passion. I didn’t graduate with a degree like expected and ended up with a lot of student debt.
I found the love of my life and got married. I could have easily just lived with my partner and forget the paperwork. However, for me, marriage is something as a child I dreamed of. As a child I pretended to be pregnant with my cousin at the same time. We stuffed pillows under our shirts and pretended to carry a baby. Once I was married I found out how much fun it is to be an adult and to be married without children. My husband has chosen not to have children and due to health issues I found it best to not put myself through pregnancy. Also, I’m not the type of woman to go off birth control and say, “Ooops!” Nope. That wasn’t something I was going to put my husband through and our potential child. I don’t want a child to ever feel like they weren’t wanted. So, I have carefully chosen to be child free. My cats are my babies. They fulfill that nurturing part of me. I know cats aren’t the same as children. At times they do display childlike characteristics. They bring my husband and I joy.
Jesse and I are fortunate to have bought a house. We are officially home-owners. So blessed. So very very very blessed. We have our own cars. How fortunate to have these luxuries. So, to summarize I have followed some social norms and have diverged from some. I don’t think it’s wrong to diverge from social expectations in some scenarios. I do think some social norms are necessary.
Being a teacher’s daughter I believe education is important. I believe marriage is a sacred union of two souls. Having a house and car in this day in age is a necessity. Living is expensive. Having a life is expensive. There is so much work involved. The rewards after hard work is satisfying. How about you? Have you diverged from society’s expectations? Or have you checked off the list of social expectations? Just a thought my friends. A random thought while working yesterday. I hope you are well, dear reader. Take care. Blessings.
Diwali came and went. I’m not from India or have a faith system that celebrates the holiday but I’ve adopted it. Jesse and I lit a candle. Diwali was in our hearts. Good over evil. Light over darkness. Knowledge over ignorance. I’m a Christian so I didn’t dedicate any intention to a deity but honor their presence and light the Holy Light in my heart.
Collectively, I think we are feeling pressure, fear, and uncertainty. The only way I know how to deal with it is to lean into the highest vibration that I know of that is Love. The Love of the Creator and the Love you can feel. I also have been mindful of my self care and resting as much as possible.
This will be short since all I want to do is meditate on good over evil. Light over darkness and knowledge over ignorance. I wish you well.
So, I’ve been going to church with a friend. It struck me how wording can push people away unintentionally. I’m a Christian. I also am spiritual. I have created a happy world around me where some false beliefs have been dismantled over time. One is that I was born a sinner. I was born in Love=God. I was born perfect and without defect. Religion tells me I’m a sinner and need a savior. That only Christians go to heaven. I cannot fathom a loving God sending people to Hell. I just can’t. I also can’t imagine a loving God sending a good person to Hell that happens to be a different faith than me. While I hold Christ in my heart and is the bridge from God to me I don’t want to force and manipulate my beliefs onto others. Don’t get me wrong, I love going to church and being connected but the wording. Sinner. Ugh. Plus, I can’t believe a loving God would send an Atheist to Hell. Just no. I know loving Atheists and well as loving Christians. Isn’t that is what it’s all about. The connection of Love? I know I am not the only one to question this belief while kneeling down and bowing my head. I do kneel and bow my head in sincerity to Jesus. However, I don’t kneel and bow my head out of obligation and fear. That is something I feel like I have grown out of. As a child I would bow my head and say Amen without a questioning it. Now, as an adult I think I’m encouraged to question and even dare I say, doubt. I doubt sometimes the validity of my belief system. Without testing and questioning how do we deepen our understanding? I can clearly see me loving Jesus and questioning Him. Do we really have all the answers we are so sure of? I do not say this to shake anyone’s faith. I say this for myself as a expressing what is going on with me in this current moment. I have seen in my life that it comes down to two things sometimes. Am I living in fear or in love? I chose to live in love. I chose to live in Love. Some of my beliefs may seem radical and even contradictory. I’m okay with that. I’m living, learning, loving and questioning. I hope in your journey wherever you may be that you compassionately, lovingly question. You don’t even have to come up with an answer. To live with the question and to embrace it.
It’s interesting because I try not to overshare but at the time I want to shine my light and be authentic. I want to live my life without the fear of judgement even though I know people judge anyway. I know that information is never truly mine anyway. Information flows and so does energy. So, is any of this really mine to keep? That is a question that has been rolling around in my head lately. I love to be myself and be fearlessly myself. I also don’t want to over share or be a target of someone’s hate and judgement. I think of how Christ lived his life. He was fearless. He lived in alignment with God which is Love. Love is the highest vibration there is. I’m keeping this short because I just wanted to express this in my blog and not on social media. I think I may have gone overboard on social media. Like any addiction it’s hard to tell when you’ve gotten drunk off of it. How much do I share? Is any of this truly mine to keep? I’ll leave this with questions rather than answers. I’m still seeking. Aren’t we all?
It seems to me that social media is mixed bag and a double edged sword. It’s something that has value to my life but it also is a distraction. So, I’ve been fasting from social media. I feel like an addict. Going on social media apps because I feel like I will miss out if I don’t. In fact, I do. I have realized that my family doesn’t call me or text me big news. They post it. So, in a way I’m a little forced to check it. If there is an event in the community it’s most likely on a social media app.
I had found myself unconsciously grabbing my phone and scrolling. I thought to myself that this isn’t how life is to be lived. My life is before me and not online. Don’t get me wrong I adore the internet but there is this need to stay grounded and aligned in my life by living it. So, that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna stay present, love, and stay grounded.
During times of crisis we unknowingly find the strength we never knew we had within us. Sometimes it feels like we are crumbling and going down a spiral but somehow we rise up. We blossom in adversity. My hope is that my words encourage you to look at life a little differently than the status quo. If you haven’t already, view this life with curiosity, compassion, and hope. It’s hard during times like these where everything is so unpredictable. I wish you peace in your journey. Know that your life is blooming in Divine Timing.